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Unclear; possibly an alteration of English diddle; compare the use of dildo2, like diddle, as an expressive nonsense syllable in often sexual songs. Compare the spelling dil doul, found in e.g. The Maids Complaint for want of a Dil Doul, a song in the library of Samuel Pepys. Unlikely to be related to Italiandiletto(“delight”) or Latindīlātō(“I open up, spread”), often cited etymologies.
‘Thompson?’ Heydon-Bayley had shrieked. ‘But he's a complete dildo, surely?’¶ ‘I like him,’ said Adrian. ‘He's unusual.’¶ ‘Graceless, you mean. Wooden.’
1910, Forrest Shreve, “The coastal deserts of Jamaica”, in The Plant World: An Illustrated Monthly Journal of Popular Botany, volume 13, pages 129–130:
The commonest and most conspicuous of the cacti is the "dildoe" (Cereus Swartzii), a columnar form growing to as much as 20 feet in height, a plant the gross physiology of which is probably very similar to that of the sahuaro (Camegiea gigantea).
A muscular female prison guard was dildoing a petite brunette with a night stick.
Etymology 2
Related to other nonsense syllables like dido and diddle(-diddle), which similarly developed sexual senses. Found since at least the 1500s, often in contexts where allusion is being made to the sexual sense (above). Possibly influenced by Middle Englishdildoun(“darling, pet”), early modern English dildin(“sweetheart”); compare Old Norsedilla(“to lull”), dillindo(“lullaby”).
“dildo”, in Kielitoimiston sanakirja [Dictionary of Contemporary Finnish] (in Finnish) (online dictionary, continuously updated), Kotimaisten kielten keskuksen verkkojulkaisuja 35, Helsinki: Kotimaisten kielten tutkimuskeskus (Institute for the Languages of Finland), 2004–, retrieved 2023-07-02