hatch, match, and dispatch

• hatch, match and despatch

hatch suggests birth, as in the hatching of an egg; match suggests marriage, as in the matching of bride and groom; and dispatch suggests death.

hatch, match, and dispatch (plural hatches, matches, and dispatches)

1. The major milestones of a person's life: birth, marriage, and death.
   • 2004, Bill Cullen, It's a Long Way from Penny Apples:

     “We get the news, especially the important hatch, match, and dispatch info” (as the births, marriages, and deaths columns were referred to). “But we also have it as foot warmers, and we cut it up into toilet paper, too..."

   • 2012, Roger Holloway, Revd Roger Holloway Obe Ma:

     He gave great attention and care to 'hatch, match and dispatch', exulting when those whom he had married in Chapel brought back their offspring to be baptised.

   • 2014, James K. Stewart, The Bible According to Jim:

     All is as it should be for the hatch, match and dispatch Christians to go home reassured they do not have to come to church until Easter when Jesus will die for their sins and if he sees his shadow on the third day we will have six more weeks of winter.

The noun is most often used to refer to functions performed by a religious institution or a civil celebrant around these milestones, or to the subject matter of a newspaper column. It is sometimes used attributively to indicate concern with only these milestones and not other matters.

hatch, match, and dispatch (third-person singular simple present hatches, matches, and dispatches, present participle hatching, matching, and dispatching, simple past and past participle hatched, matched, and dispatched)

1. (slang) To preside over the ceremonies surrounding birth and naming, marriage, and funerals or memorial services.
   • 1997, Sh'ma: A Journal of Jewish Responsibility - Issues 525-544, page 8:

     It is no longer sufficient for rabbis to "hatch, match and dispatch," to serve as CEO's of synagogues or to preside over annual High Holiday pilgrimages.

   • 1998, The Living Church - Volume 217, page 131:

     The Independent reports that the Church of England "is facing the final nail in the coffin of its claim to 'hatch, match and dispatch' the nation.

   • 2014, Shirley Harder, The Vine:

     The loose attitude often is that the church is there to 'hatch, match and dispatch' its people and if it can, 'take their money.'