in this essay I will

• in this essay, I will

As if the statement is the opening of an essay. Popularized around 2017.

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in this essay I will

1. (literally) A hackneyed phrase used to begin an essay.
   • 2023 June 13, Ali Hazelwood, “Acknowledgments”, in Love, Theoretically, New York, N.Y.: Berkley Romance, →ISBN, page 387:

     Is writing hard, or am I just bad at it? In this essay, I will— To be honest, this whole publishing thing isn’t getting any easier for me, and I’m still relying on several trillion people to help me get my work in shape.

2. (Internet slang, sometimes humorous) Used after stating a controversial or absurdist opinion.
   • 2017 January 11, Unregistered HyperEm 2 (@warmaliens), “Archived copy”, in Twitter‎, archived from the original on 26 June 2024:

     netflix original the get down is in the style of an epic poem and in this essay i will

   • 2017 October 17, cc (@squaredsea), “Archived copy”, in Twitter‎, archived from the original on 26 June 2024:

     Many of the men in the anime Legend of the Galactic Heroes are goodlooking. In this essay, I will be exploring the variations of hotness th

   • 2017 October 21, stacia 🖤 (@anastacialydied), “Archived copy”, in Twitter‎, archived from the original on 26 June 2024:

     the 'trendiness' of thrift shopping by the weathy elite has resulted in a gentrification of the thrift industry. in this essay, i will expla

   • 2017 December 31, remade lol (@battlecalm), Twitter‎:

     fanfiction is the purest form of art in this essay i will

   • 2019 December 26, Ej Dickson (@ejdickson), Twitter; quoted in Jen England, “The Memeification of Mental Illness: How You Launched a Serial Killer Thirst Trap”, in Emily Katseanes, editor, Streaming Mental Health and Illness: Essays on Representation in Netflix Original Programs, Jefferson, N.C.: McFarland & Company, 2023, →ISBN, Works Cited, page 173:

     I don’t want to see ANY discourse this year regarding how weird it is that Penn Badgley is hot on You. Penn is a SMOKESHOW. He’s a little pocket prince. He’s the 5'7" emperor of all the short kings and him being hot on You is the POINT. In this essay I will

   • 2021 December 31, jon 🦇🍂 (@coagulopathic), “Archived copy”, in Twitter‎, archived from the original on 31 December 2021:

     if the psvita didn’t use a proprietary charger and proprietary storage system it would be the greatest handheld console ever, in this essay i will

   • 2022 August 31, bobeebs 🇵🇸 (@bobeebs), “Archived copy”, in Twitter‎, archived from the original on 26 June 2024:

     one of my least fav japanese words is デリケート not bc of the meaning but the way it is used. in this essay i will. but later. no questions at this time

   • 2023 July 27, Bradley Powers, “Interview with Artist Lauren Raye Snow”, in Jason Sizemore, Lesley Conner, editors, Apex Magazine‎, number 139, Lexington, Ky.: Apex Publications, →ISSN, archived from the original on 2024-04-14, pages 171–172:

     BP: The cover piece, “Becoming,” and “Strange Agony” are both based on Carmilla by Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu. What other pieces might come out of this series? What about this novella speaks to you? / LRS: “Carmilla is Sexier, More Subversive, and More Relevant to Modern Experience than Dracula; In This Essay I Will …”

   • 2023 December 31, SpiritualiTEA (@Spirituali__tea), “Archived copy”, in Twitter‎, archived from the original on 26 June 2024:

     “Sleep Token isn’t metal -“ You’re right. They’re multi-genre, and metal is one of the genres. If you’re saying you don’t hear ANY metal influence when listening to Sleep Token, you’re kidding yourself and don’t know how music works. In this essay I will -

   • 2024 June 26, endorse education (@queennaeasf), “Archived copy”, in Twitter‎, archived from the original on 26 June 2024:

     not to be that person but artificial intelligence actually holds extreme detriment to the learning ability of our society- in this essay I will-

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