way out of a paper bag

• way out of a wet paper bag

Most likely originating as, He couldn't punch his way out of a paper bag.

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way out of a paper bag

1. (slang, idiomatic, formulaic) A minimal level of competence or effectiveness, as used in phrases where one is unable to perform.

   My boss is so clueless, he couldn't schedule his own way out of a paper bag.

   Junior varsity couldn't play their way out of a paper bag in comparison.

   • 1923, Asia, volume 23, American Asiatic Association, page 281:

     The old chap did not look as though he could push his way out of a paper bag.

   • 1924, Harry Charles Witwer, Love and Learn, G. P. Putnam's sons, page 260:

     Personally I don’t think this egg could punch his way out of a paper bag. He’s only been workin’ in this trap two days

   • 2003 November 6, Lynne Truss, “Introduction – The Seventh Sense”, in Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation, London: Profile Books Ltd, →ISBN, page 8:

     To be fair, many people who couldn’t punctuate their way out of a paper bag are still interested in the way punctuation can alter the sense of a string of words. It is the basis of all “I’m sorry, I’ll read that again” jokes.

   • 2014, Allie Peter, Saved by the Fireman, page 105:

     “You'd hate his cooking[,” he said.]
     “Most guys can't cook their way out of a paper bag[,” Charlotte said.]

• couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery
• enough sense to pound sand into a rathole
• know one's ass from a hole in the ground